Dear friend,
It’s been raining quite a bit here; and even when it’s dry, the streets are tinged brown and orange, puddles nipping at heels, and candles from patios casting long, golden shadows. I’ve been writing a lot: I started my first, longform fanfic in over a decade; long removed from my days of Wattpad and Y/N x Zayn. Putting down words every day, every week, is teaching me discipline. More crucially, as someone who tends to lean towards poems and creative non-fiction, it’s teaching me that I, too, am capable of dreaming up worlds and putting them to paper—a revelation, tiny and holy, all on its own.
In the thick of fall and evenings spent burrowed in blankets, I’ve been listening to a lot of new music: Simon & Garfunkel (“Kathy’s Song,” “The Dangling Conversation”), Bon Iver, “Holocene,” Noah Kahan’s The Great Divide (“Dashboard,” “All Them Horses,” “Dan”), Patti Smith, Horses, Olivia Rodrigo’s You Seem Pretty Sad for a Girl So in Love (“stupid song,” “u+me=<3,” “honeybee,” “drop dead”), The 1975, “About You,” Phoebe Bridgers, “Friday I’m In Love,” Syd Matters “Obstacles,” The Cinematic Orchestra, “To Build A Home.”
a tender, aching fan video by deanspatroclvs, created around The Cinematic Orchestra’s “To Build A Home”; inspired by one of my recently discovered (and already favoured) Destiel fics, To Build a Home by intothesilentland
And on that note, I, somehow, stumbled down the rabbit-hole of Destiel fandom and fanfics (I blame Supernatural convention clips’ compilations on YouTube). In no particular order, here are some fics I have deeply enjoyed:
Down to Agincourt by seperis [series, 1,121k+, wip] Fandom: Supernatural. Ship: Castiel/Dean Winchester.
Summary: There is no such thing as a guarantee when it comes to war.
Reason for rec: A fandom classic, for a good reason. Top-notch world-building; and the premise of the end-of-the-world camp gives a lot of delicious opportunities for close quarters’ relationships / community building, and intimacy borne out of everyday mundanities — the writer makes full use of them.
And This, Your Living Kiss by opal_bullets [56k+, complete] Fandom: Supernatural. Ship: Castiel/Dean Winchester.
Summary: Only a very few people in the world know that the celebrated and reclusive poet Jack Allen is just Kansas mechanic Dean Winchester, a high school dropout with a few bucks to his name. Not that it matters anymore; life has left him so wrung out he never wants to pick up another pen. Until, that is, a string of coincidences leads Dean to audit a poetry course with one Dr. Castiel Novak. The professor is wildly intelligent, devastatingly handsome…and just so happens to be academia’s foremost expert on the poetry of Jack Allen.
Reason for rec: Apart from generally being one of the best character studies I’ve read of Dean, the story weaves poems with prose so smoothly that I never felt at ends—seamlessly, I was oscillating between Dean’s interior voice and external actions, the mind and the body—extremely reminiscent of Sally Rooney’s writing and works. A fragment I’m never getting over: “Courage, poor stupid heart of stone. / He picked up the phone.”
Cat Got Your Grace by MyBrokenFantasy [8k+, complete] Fandom: Supernatural. Ship: Castiel/Dean Winchester.
Summary: A routine witch hunt in Oregon goes spectacularly sideways when a botched transfiguration spell leaves Castiel with a few very inconvenient feline features. Dean thinks it’s hilarious. Castiel thinks Dean is insufferable. While they scramble to reverse the curse, Dean discovers that Castiel’s new ears and tail aren’t just expressive, they’re sensitive. VERY sensitive. And Castiel may be mortified, but he’s also curious.
Reason for rec: Funny and hot, all at once. I really enjoy MyBrokenFantasy’s works in general: they have a stunning ability to write intimacy not just through motions, but into the language itself. Every touch seems to transcend its “sense” and occupy the realm of the space, the silences, the song.
As the Smoke Clears by ZephyrHearts [220k+, complete] Fandom: Supernatural. Ship: Castiel/Dean Winchester.
Summary: At thirty-six, Dean Winchester is the Captain of Lawrence Fire Station 24 — respected, decorated, and trusted with lives when everything is burning down. He runs his crew with precision, authority, and gallows humor, the kind of man you want beside you when the smoke gets thick. He has the house. The career. The scars to prove he earned both. What he doesn’t have is anyone waiting for him when the sirens go quiet. Dean tries to explain why Castiel doesn’t fit into his life — too quiet, too gentle, too different from anyone he’s ever dated. Sam, who’s heard every version of this argument before, gently points out the truth Dean keeps avoiding: maybe the problem isn’t Castiel’s differences — maybe it’s that Dean has spent his whole life choosing what’s safe instead of what he actually needs. And maybe what he needs is someone entirely unfamiliar… even if that scares him.
Reason for rec: Big fan of stories that take Castiel’s love for bees seriously. One of the reasons I enjoy Destiel so much is because of how Castiel and Dean are both dorks, in their own ways. This story does a very good job of writing those characterisations, and building up their relationship.
In my jaunts down AO3, I, of course, have also stumbled recently upon quite a bit of Heated Rivarly fics—yummy and fun, to the boot. Yet, what has amused me even more than HR’s general fic love is the resurgence of the ‘wank and tell’ tag.
Hehe. Some Hollanov fics for your pleasure:
@MLHTracker by summerblood [4k+, complete] Fandom: Heated Rivalry. Ship: Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov.
Summary: The history of Hollanov, primarily as seen through the MLH Tracker on Twitter.
Reason for rec: This was the first fic I read in this fandom. Hilarious, while offering a sharp commentary on tracking accounts and fandom behaviours.
Gay During That Goal, Too by batsbeerandbaddecisions [34k+, complete] Fandom: Heated Rivalry. Ship: Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov.
Summary: Shane Hollander accidentally comes out to his hockey team after years of hiding his sexuality behind carefully crafted personas and unfinished coming out speeches. As the Metros slowly begin icing him out on and off the ice, Shane spirals between rage, grief, and self-discovery—while Ilya refuses to let him forget exactly who he is.
Reason for rec: A story that absolutely broke my heart. An extremely well-done character study of Shane, while delving into homophobia sensitively yet firmly.
went home and tried to stalk you on the internet by alphalupi [53k+, complete] Fandom: Heated Rivalry. Ship: Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov.
Summary: a companion piece to back and forth from new york showing the in-world social media response to the events of each chapter!!
Reason for rec: As the summary says, this is a companion fic. I was, hilariously, on a social media AU reading binge, and stumbled across this. Hence, I’m yet to read the main fic, still—but I can assure you, this one is well worth the time. A very different and well-executed plot twist for Shane’s career, with original, sweet relationships (both online and offline) serving to ground the narrative.
please leave a message by subcorax [2k+, complete] Fandom: Heated Rivalry. Ship: Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov.
Summary: Ilya Rozanov is, apparently, one of the girls.
Reason for rec: I remember this fic breaking stan Twitter. Lily’s messages to the WAGS was all anyone was talking about. Very good times.
Happy reading!
Yours,
Anushka
In the TINY LETTERS, we cut down the fabled gods of objectivity. Here, there’s no rationality; only the rhythm of the music, & the body in motion. We would love to dance with you.