Jeevika
Anushka Bidani: You started this page in 2022 – is that when you first became Virat Kohli’s fan?
viratdiaries_: Meri iski fan banne ki kahani kaafi filmi hai (the story of me becoming his fan is very filmy). It was 2016, and an India versus Pakistan match was going on. There was a very low total on board, something like 83. Hum chase kar rahe the (we were chasing), but as it often happens with Virat, first two wickets fell quickly on 0. He then came out to bat, and won us the match. And when we won, I remember he was smiling, and my dad said look, he is smiling because we won but he got out on 49. And I looked at him, and usse dekhte dekhte mere chehre par bhi ek chhoti-si smile aa gayi (while looking at him, a slow smile creeped on my face too). And that was the moment. Uss pal main mujhe pyaar hi ho gaya (In that moment, I just fell in love).
So I became his fan in 2016/17, I was 10 then. I got into the online fandom around him also then. Before this page, I used to have another page—also by the name viratdiaries—but that unfortunately got suspended. But after watching that 49 innings, I was in. Then there was also that 2016 innings he played for Royal Challengers Bengaluru (RCB) with some 7-8 stitches in his hand, which made me just look at him and think – he is something else.
AB: That’s young! By that point, he was already the Indian captain and the star. Did you have any friends in your real life then who were also his fans, or people around you who would chat about him?
viratdiaries_: No, there was no one, really. In fact, in school boys used to make fun of me for being his fan and would tease me with his name and stats. Woh hota hai na (you know how it happens) when a boy likes you and wants to talk to you, so he will tease you to make small-talk? Boys in my class would do that, through Virat.
But I made actual friends over Virat online. We started talking in those early days, and are still in touch. Some of them I even have in my contact list, one of them I met when I came to Delhi last time around. These have become lifelong friendships now.
AB: You mentioned that knock against Pakistan and that Royal Challengers Bengaluru (RCB) innings as some iconic moments you remember. Any other matches which have similarly stayed with you?
viratdiaries_: If you’re a Virat fan, that 82* against Pakistan is at the top of the list. His Edgbaston Test innings is also really special. But his double century in Indore is especially close to my heart, because I am from Indore.
I have always just found watching him really inspiring. I remember main school jaati thi, intezaar hota tha ghar aake Virat ko dekhungi (I remember I would go to school, and wait for when I could go back home and watch Virat). Main usko dekh ke hi khush ho jaati hun (I become happy just by watching him play).
AB: I have also been really fond of that one innings against Pat Cummins when on scoring a century, he made that sign of ‘letting my bat do the talking’. So cool. Also got made into an ad, that one.
viratdiaries_: Yes! That was Perth. I missed watching it live, sadly. Don’t know where I was, probably at school or something, ha. But that was so good. His celebrations have always been amazing. Like that Notebook one, I love that. And this is what I mean – he just brings a different energy to the field.
AB: Oh yeah, 100%. And you have been his fan for quite long now. Have there been any moments when you have felt – I can’t do this anymore, I am absolutely drained. I don’t have it in me to support him any longer.
viratdiaries_: No, yaar. Even in that 2020-21 lean period, I desperately wanted him to score, but I still found joy just from watching him play. And as fate would have it, I was also going through some problems in my personal life back then. So just watching him play, and make that come back, uss se bohut himmat mili (I gained a lot of strength from that). And in fact, jab aapke idol ko hate milti hai, to pyaar aur badh jaata hai (when your idol receives hate, your love for them increases). Something similar has happened with me. In the bad moments, I have actually grown even more in love with him. In the good years, when runs were just flowing from his bat, no one would really appreciate it as much because we took it as a given. He is Virat. Of course, he will score runs. But it was in these bad years that we actually learned the true value of those runs, and how much effort really goes into playing those knocks. Itna easy nahi hai, jitna woh dikhata hai (It’s not as easy as he makes it look).
So I can’t imagine ever abusing him or hating on him. I know a lot of fans do that — drag him and pull him down when he is not scoring, like right now. I can’t do that, I don’t want to do that. Right now, before you called, I was actually writing a letter to him, as it’s his birthday tomorrow. I will post it then.
AB: That’s so sweet. Besides writing, you also edit a lot! How did you learn video editing, and what made you pick it up?
viratdiaries_: In the beginning, I would use VivaVideo — remember, from 2017/18? It had a slideshow format, and I would put photos into that and make edits. I was very bad at that. If someone sees those now…probably 10/11 year olds today can edit better than that. But as I kept at it over time, I started learning how to do it better. And even today, there are many, many fans who are miles better at video editing than me, I am nowhere close to them. Now, I don’t edit that often. On the older page I used to edit a lot. Keep a proper theme and background; it was very well-maintained. But there comes a point when you get so busy in your own life, that you are not able to devote as much time to this. And running a fan page, it’s not a duty. But jab woh duty lagne lag jaata hai na (when it starts feeling like a duty), then it becomes a headache. At that point, it had started feeling like a duty. I need to do this, maintain that, post content on time…it would stress me out a lot. So that’s when I decided that ye sab chhodho, bas apna pyaar dikhao, woh hai fan page (leave all this, just show your love, that’s a fan page).
AB: You also have a Highlight on your page devoted to Virat and Anushka Sharma’s relationship. You have always been fond of them, as a couple?
viratdiaries_: Yes. You can say that, in 2016 I first was attracted to Virat-the-person. How he is towards Anushka, his teammates. That’s what first struck me, ki woh insaan kitna achhha hai (how good he is as a person). And I should perhaps not say this, because hum Virat ko cricket ke through jaante hai (we know Virat through cricket), but the thing is that I love Virat more as a person than as a cricketer. I don’t know why; and Virat-the-cricketer is a foregone fact. He is a legend, period. But on a personal level, it’s Virat-the-person jo mujhe zyaada pasand hai (who I like more).
AB: Pyaar shuru uss cheez se huya ki he is such a good cricketer, but badha uss cheez se ki insaan bohut achha hai (Love bloomed from the fact that he is such a good cricketer, but grew from knowing how nice he is as a person).
viratdiaries_: Exactly! Because it’s not like there are no other great cricketers in the world, but aap insaan kaise ho, woh bohut matter karta hai (how you are as a person matters a lot). Especially without PR, ha!
AB: And he has been in spotlight since day one. His evolution, highs and lows — everyone gets micro-analysed, but he has always received a lot more scrutiny. Plus, he is also very self-aware, so there are many moments when he himself has talked about how he has grown and changed over the years.
viratdiaries_: This is the aspect of Virat which has inspired me the most. Woh bolte hai na, jeene ka ek naya way sikha dena, that’s what he has done for me (As people say, he has shown me a completely new way to live life). I will tell you one incident. In 11th class, I had restarted the fan page in 2020. And I don’t know why, what happened, but I got a supplementary (request to reappear) in two subjects. I couldn’t understand what was going on at all. At one point I felt, is it because of the fan page? And I knew for sure that if I scored less again, har koi Virat ko gaali bakega (everyone will abuse Virat), because they will blame him. And in 12th Boards, I would watch Virat’s inspirational quotes and interviews before every single exam. And, I kid you not, in both these subjects in which I had received supplementary in 11th — in 12th I scored 90+. So, somewhere, there was definitely that motivation from him on how to make a comeback. His own comeback hadn’t even happened by then! But there was his bad phase in 2014, and he made such a solid comeback after that too…so that inspiration and that ‘believe in yourself’ mentality matters a lot. Even in exams, when you’re writing answers, you should be confident enough that mujhe jitna aata hai, utna teacher ko nahi aata (however much I know, the teacher knows lesser). And this has happened with me — agar main smart banke answers likhti hoon, my answers genuinely go right (if I write answers feeling smart, my answers genuinely go right), even if I haven’t studied. Right now (touchwood), I am the topper of my class in college. So from getting a supplementary to topping for four years straight, I don’t know how that happened. But personally, Virat has affected me a lot.
AB: I have had such similar experiences. Recently, when the IPL was on, I was going through some tough breaks in life. But when Royal Challengers Bengaluru (RCB) rose from the bottom of the table to make the play-offs, I was telling my family that – if they can do it, why can’t I?
viratdiaries_: Very true.
AB: So, fan pages have become quite common now. But when you had first started, was it common to see fan pages devoted to Virat?
viratdiaries_: Oh, yeah. It was definitely there. Virat, I think, made his profile on Instagram in 2015. But even before that, there were pages dedicated to him there. From that era when Instagram had the old logo, his fan pages have existed. There have been fan pages for him since the peak days of Facebook, actually, I remember seeing many old pages there. And even on Twitter, there are some pages which have been around since 2010.
I really don’t know what it is about him, haha. He is someone who wants to stay away from the limelight so much, but the limelight keeps chasing him. And all this really came into his personality from 2015, when he got with Anushka. Because it happens that when you are making one thing, like your relationship, completely private, slowly and steadily you start to make your whole life private. Before that, he did have that itch that — Virat Kohli, people should know who I am. There is that youngster phase when you are new in the team, you want everyone to see you. You also party and chill a lot. Since then, though, he has grown so much in life. He has improved everything – his discipline, fitness. All of that inspires everyone—not only the fans, anyone and everyone who sees it. People randomly see Reels and get so inspired, this person has such a fit physique, even I want that. So if seeing strangers in those videos inspires you so much, imagine how much watching your idol would inspire you.
AB: Yeah, he has always had that energy.
viratdiaries_: Yes, since the beginning.
AB: I was thinking back to last year and his birthday, and how much has happened since then. As a fan, what do you hope for in the next one year for him?
viratdiaries_: That’s a very tough question, yaar. Because he turns 36 tomorrow, and as he is going through a lean phase right now people have already started saying that he should retire after Border-Gavaskar Trophy (BGT). Even though his fitness is such that he can play till he’s 39/40, easily. Expectations and all…mera abh aisa ho gaya hai ki, main usko bas enjoy karna chahti hun (my mindset has become such now that I just want to enjoy him). Yes, of course, if he scores a century there will be no one happier than me, main pagalon ki tarah naachungi (I will dance like a madwoman). And I do want him to score 101 centuries, I want him to break every record. But somewhere or the other, usko bas dekhna hai field pe (I just want to look at him on field). So whatever time we have…because we are in the endgame now. And this is the toughest thing for a sportperson’s fan: watching your idol in the endgame.
AB: Yeah. On one hand you have limited time with them, and on the other side sab gaaliyan deni shuru kar chuke hote hai (everyone starts abusing now). And since he said recently that once he retires, he will just disappear…that feeling has become only more potent.
viratdiaries_: And you won’t believe, but some of my friends and I had cracked this in 2021-22 itself — that once Virat retires, he won’t stay in India. We had figured it out two/three years ago, and it’s happening now. Because the media here, and the politics with cricket experts, it’s all too much. And the main reason is, of course, his desire for privacy.
AB: True. I also wanted to ask, his fanbase is so dominated by men. What has your experience been like, being a woman in this space?
viratdiaries_: Very good point. Boys feel that girls don’t know anything at all. This has been my personal experience. In 2016 in fact, I was in a Space and some boy asks me how many centuries did Virat score in 2016 IPL. As a fan, I felt so strange on being asked such a basic question. What were they trying to prove, that I’m only a fan of his looks? And honestly, it’s not necessary that every fan will remember stats. Recalling numbers is a very difficult thing — Virat ko khud ko numbers yaad nahi rehte (Virat himself cannot remember numbers)! Some fans will say, you don’t remember how many runs Virat made on that ground in that year so you’re not a real fan. How does that make sense? I remember the special things. I remember Virat has scored 80 centuries — now, 80 centuries main kaise yaad rakhun (how do I remember 80 centuries)!
So this perception that girls are only fans of Virat because of his looks is wrong. That also happens, of course, but then that bond is not that strong. You won’t stick around for 7/8 years, you would have left in 2/3 years once he got married. My didi (sister) had a friend who used to be such a devoted fan that she had around 2000-3000 pictures of him. But, as soon as he got married and then when that lean phase around the 71st century came, she stepped back and said, I’m not a fan anymore, Virat main abh woh baat nahi rahi (Virat doesn’t have that x-factor anymore). There are many people like that, but I have learned loyalty by watching Virat and Royal Challengers Bengaluru (RCB) — and I’m so glad for that.
AB: Any parting thoughts from your side?
viratdiaries_: I just want Virat to get as much love as possible. Too many times I have seen fans who get so possessive over him, saying how can you love him when I already love him too. I just want to, and try to, show Virat to as many people as I can saying, look! how brilliant is he. I want everyone to become even bigger fans of him than myself. I just want him to achieve even more than what he has already, bas humesha khush rahe (always stays happy). And tomorrow is his birthday, so happy birthday to him in advance. And bas, century aa jaaye (and yes, hope a century comes)!
This interview by Anushka Bidani is part of the series, The Fan Page Project.